Oliver Andrew was born at 7:54 on Monday, October 17, 2011.
He was 10 days late. Well, 10 days late if you’re committed to your due date which, I was, I SO was, so when October 7 came and went the disappointment was huge. After a week of waiting, on October 13 our OB scheduled an induction for Monday morning at 7 AM. If we made it through the weekend, which he halfheartedly told my desperate crying face that something might happen, we’d head in to have a baby on Monday. I was scared to be induced. Aside from a c-section, it was at the top of my list of Things I Do Not Want To Happen.
Needless to say, the weekend came and went and Sunday night found us preparing to head to the hospital the next morning. Alarms were set, the car was loaded, and sleep was attempted. Monday morning I couldn’t stop myself from crying. After weeks of telling everyone who asked that I was beyond ready to have this baby, I was scared, overwhelmed, and anxious. The car ride to the hospital was spent mostly in silence with Michael trying to reassure me that it was going to be okay, we were going to meet our little boy that day.
We arrived in labor and delivery a little after 7:00. Our nurse, Chris, got us set up in our delivery room and I changed into a hospital gown to wait for Dr. Levit. Meanwhile, Chris got all of my baseline data– baby’s heartbeat, my blood pressure, etc. It was all I could do to hold back tears. The anticipation was just overwhelming. In fact, if I had to describe the labor experience in one word it would be overwhelming. My blood pressure was high, from anxiety and just in general throughout pregnancy, but it did go down after a little bit. Dr. Levit came in around 7:40 and, after a quick ultrasound to make sure that the baby’s head was indeed down, laid out the plan. Since I was still only 2 cm dilated he wanted to use cytotec instead of pitocin so I’d still be able to move around. Chris had me sign a consent form and Dr. Levit got the cytotec ready. At this point I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. I tried to explain that this was just nerves–I was fine–more like FINE, freaking out, but normal for me. Dr. Levit put in the cytotec, Chris set me up to be monitored for an hour, and then Michael and I were left alone. Labor had begun.
At this point I don’t know what I was expecting to happen. I could see from the monitors that I was having contractions, but I didn’t feel them. At least I didn’t think I did. At that point I was still not really sure what a contraction should feel like. I could feel something, but it didn’t hurt exactly…expect for when it did. I did some texting, Michael took a short nap and my mom showed up to hang out. Around 9:30 Chris came back in to check and said that everything was fine. She took me off the monitor and basically told us that we were just waiting for the cytotec to do its job.

Before I had any idea what labor was really like
At this point I kind of lose track of when everything was happening. It felt like time was flying by and dragging all at once. By 11:00 I was sure I knew what a contraction felt like and I was sure that I was not a fan. It wasn’t unbearable, but it wasn’t fun. Chris came back in and said that Dr. Levit would be there in 45 minutes and she wanted to hook me back up to be monitored before he got there. I was feeling really uncomfortable at this point and was sure that I had made major progress. HA! Dr. Levit checked me around 12:30 and I was only 3 cm. Womp Womp. Despite the fact that I was sure I was going to be in labor forever at this point, he was really pleased with how things were going and decided to break my water. This was NOT FUN. It didn’t hurt exactly but the sensation of warm fluid pouring out of me was gross and really made me uncomfortable. Chris encouraged me to get out of bed and move around so I decided to try sitting on one of the exercise balls like we had done in our baby class. This would have been fine except for the fact that every time I had a contraction a huge gush of water came pouring out of me. Hi, I’m in labor and I am disgusting and miserable.
Around 2:00 I couldn’t handle the constant I’m peeing myself, gushing feeling and contractions were really painful so I decided to get in the jacuzzi tub. During my entire pregnancy I was adamant that I did NOT want to be in the freaking tub despite the fact that it was a huge selling point for the hospital and the baby class teacher. I just knew it wasn’t for me. At this point though, I was willing to try anything. As for whether or not I hated it, for the most part I was right, it wasn’t for me. The water was warm, but not hot like a soothing bath and, because I had the IV ready in my right hand I couldn’t put it in the water. This meant that after the first few minutes I felt cold. All of that aside, the tub was probably worth it because it meant that I couldn’t feel the gush of fluid when I had a contraction. It was when I was in the tub that the contractions got truly painful. I remember consciously trying to find a place of zen, do the baby class breathing, and will myself to relax and work through it. It was awful. I remember telling Michael that I couldn’t do this, I needed drugs, everything hurt and that if I wasn’t dilated more than one cm I was sure I was going to die. The nurse overheard this and helped me get out of the tub and went to call the doctor about getting me some drugs. Even though it felt like I had been in the tub for hours, it had really only been about 40 minutes. It was almost time for Chris to leave and I remember telling her that I thought I was going to die if I hadn’t made progress. She said that based on how I looked and was acting she was sure I had.
After I was out of the tub and back in the bed the anesthesiologist, Dr. Mathis, came to talk to me about the epidural. Dr. Levit had said that he didn’t want me to have the epidural until I was at least 4 cm. At this point we didn’t know how far along I was and I was still holding out thinking I might be able to go without. The nurse offered some drugs through my IV while we waited for Dr. Levit to come back and check me. She said fentanyl would offer some relief but wear off pretty quickly. The good news was that she thought it would last me until Dr. Levit arrived to check my progress and she could keep giving it to me over and over. Let’s just say that fentanyl made me feel like I was high. Not that I’ve ever been high, but it made me feel more drunk than I’ve ever been and completely out of it. It did help, but I was still feeling each and every contraction and it definitely wore off quickly. Before 45 minutes had passed I was begging for another dose just like a true junkie. As Frances, my new nurse, was getting me another dose, Dr. Levit arrived.
Frances explained to Dr. Levit that I was feeling major pain (the understatement of the year) and that my contractions were on top of each other and not giving me any time to rest in between. Apparently my body is really sensitive to cytotec. The second does of fentanyl made me feel high again but didn’t do much of anything to help me with the pain. Dr. Levit gave me the ok to get the epidural and Frances called for Dr. Mathis. At this point my pain outweighed any leftover fear about an epidural. Thankfully Dr. Mathis had already done his whole “epidurals are dangerous but okay, you should get one” speech so he could get right to work. I don’t remember feeling any pain, just a little pinch, and by 6:00 I had the epidural and was feeling SO MUCH BETTER. After the epidural Dr. Levit checked my progress and FINALLY I was 9 cm. To this I say THANK GOD. I can’t imagine what would have happened if I hadn’t been this far along. I would have died. DIED. Instead, Dr. Levit said it was almost time to start pushing.
I started pushing right around 7:00. At this point everything really started to slow down. I remember Frances lowering the end of the bed and setting up the warming station where they would put the baby. I remember Dr. Levit washing his hands and putting on gloves in the corner of the room. I remember them explaining to Michael how he would help hold my left leg and explaining to me how I’d breathe and push. Because of a lingering baby class memory that pushing could take hours I remember asking Frances if she thought we’d have our baby before her shift ended at 11:00. Yes, she assured me, it wouldn’t be long now. Finally, after one last check, Dr. Levit said we would push with the next contraction. Still feeling like I really didn’t know what I was doing, I pushed, took a breath, and pushed again. It was so surreal. I kept thinking, ‘this is it–we’re having our baby.’ I kept looking at Michael, asking him if he was ok. Of course my contractions, which had been on top of each other up to this point, decided to space themselves out. We were having 2 or 3 minutes between contractions. The room was really quiet. At some point Dr. Levit said he could see the head. He asked Michael if he planned on cutting the cord. I got better at pushing. Things started to speed up. Finally Dr. Levit said that the next push would be it. He told me that in order to not tear I needed to stop pushing when he said stop. The contraction came, I started to push and then everything got hectic. Dr. Levit was telling Frances to get a step stool, more nurses came into the room and our quite calm space all of a sudden felt frantic. I remember thinking that something wasn’t right. I didn’t know what a step stool had to do with labor. Dr. Levit, our quiet, cool and collected OB was giving orders in a tone of voice I hadn’t heard before, Frances seemed so serious and hurried. Dr. Levit never told me to stop pushing. Frances was standing on the step stool next to the bed pushing down over and over on my abdomen. I heard everything and nothing.
And then he was here.
Oliver.
Dr. Levit laid him on my stomach and I just remember that he felt so warm. But he wasn’t crying–I was. I kept asking if he was okay and no one would answer me. Then he was gone, they had taken him over to the corner of the room. And still I was asking, “is he ok? is he ok?” And I’m sure it was seconds but it felt like hours and then there it was–he was crying.
Our baby.
Our son.
Just like that, I was a mother.
